He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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