Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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