I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
