I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
