Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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