Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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