I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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