im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize