nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Holy sore nipples Batman
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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