After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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