he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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