So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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