jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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