Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There r osticjed everywhere
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
