Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
