It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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