just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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