Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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