Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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