Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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