I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
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Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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