Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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