I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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