I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
