You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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