All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i think my mom watched the whole time
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
