piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize