He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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