I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Quick, to the slutcave!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
