My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
