No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
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i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
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I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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