You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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