conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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