It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
