Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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