Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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