Don't EVER smell your tampon
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
