Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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