I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
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We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
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The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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