Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
