I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i drank out of a bidet.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
