How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
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definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
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He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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