I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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