East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Last time i carry you out of a forest
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
