I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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