well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
