were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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