ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
