i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize