i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
