If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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