Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
