i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
