The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We left an ass print on the piano.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
