dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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