sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
