You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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